Update!

My pelvic stress fracture continues. Up to 5-weeks so far of absolute total rest. Still a limp and using crutch as much as possible. The pain is frustratingly still the same with no improvement. But staying positive despite the rarity of success stories from few fellow sufferers around the world! Excellent forum here with comments from those also frustrated from lack of recovery. Click here: Stress Fracture of Pubic Ramus

February 2009:

I was referred to orthopaedic surgeon January 2009 as the stress fracture was now constantly painful even when sitting or standing. He said the MRI scans from October (near 4-months prior) displayed a very problematic injury. He sent me for Isotope nuclear bone scans. By this stage I was limping and had already cancelled gym membership and put bicycle in storage. Any form of exercise was impossible.

Results of scans arrived: “Lizanne, I cannot emphasise enough how problematic this is. The pubic ramus bone is detached from pelvis. You must take absolute rest for minimum of 3-months. This is the only way it will ever heal. This means avoid walking from A-to-B. For 2-months of this on crutches to alleviate any weight bearing". I couldn’t believe that 4-months later this was even worse - despite not ever running/jogging in all these months but only some low-impact gym classes.

The main challenge initially was adjusting the mind to accept this long-term plan of absolute rest! I now needed to plan alternative evening and weekend activities to keep constantly distracted in order to further deal with this now constant and absolute enforced ‘rest’ for at LEAST 3 months! These activities would need to ensure minimum movement of course! I have now revisited my old passion of playing piano. Thankfully I haven’t forgotten the basics. I am also learning Spanish for beginners. I don’t necessarily aim to become a fluent speaker but enough to engage in general conversation. It’s not only the most widely spoken language in our world but also a beautiful and generally ‘easy’ language to learn. My main priority is to spend every weekend with friends and family. I’m enjoying re-living earlier days again by getting the train to different parts of Ireland to spend weekends with family and friends. Over the past few years my evenings after work/college running consisted of running and/or gym before any ‘relaxation’ time. The weekends also needed to consist of at least 1-decent run before chilling out. Things have changed a lot….

This huge change has been a struggle initially but I’m surprised at how quick and easy I have adapted! It was very upsetting and frustrating to accept even more bad news considering the non-stop misfortunes of the previous 22-months. After a few weeks of a very slowed down self, I feel my mentality and attitude is completely changed for the better. I have become far more laid back and happy. I’m really enjoying all this new increased time catching up with friends and family and taking up previous hobbies including lots of reading. The pain continues however and I'm still limping and using crutch (I won’t bring it to work though!). I’m learning and adopting some very important things already. The main attitude shift is no longer (1) complaining about on-going issues (2) dwelling on past circumstances (3) any negativity… A shift to only positive thoughts and energies has made me feel ultimately content, at ease and in control again :-)

“When you think negative thoughts and feelings, you are simply separating yourself from the world and others by sending out negative energy signals. Therefore, only attracting like back to like so more negativity and misfortune!

Competition is an example of separation – coming from a lack of mentality as you are saying there is a limited supply. (I have always been very competitive in every aspect of life). By doing this, you are saying that there is not enough for everybody so we have to compete and fight to get things. When you compete you can never win, even when you think you have won. By the law of attraction, as you compete you will attract many people and circumstances to compete against you! This I now understand :-)

A person who sets their mind on the dark side of life, who lives over and over the misfortunes and disappointments of the past is essentially praying for similar misfortunes and disappointments in future. If you will see nothing but ill luck in the future, you are asking for such ill luck! If you go back over your life and focus on the difficulties from the past, you are just bringing more of this into your life. By deliberately focusing only on what we want, we begin to radiate good feelings.

This is why I have chosen to accept this new way of thinking and break free from my previous patterns, routine and ways of thinking. To do this I am maintaining an awareness of my present thoughts and feelings and adjusting when necessary. I have a reminder throughout the day o become aware of my thoughts and feelings and adjust these if they are negative thoughts. Every day I am now also acknowledging gratitude for what I do have and what I can and will have. I have never had the time to think of just how grateful I am for all the positive things! Our thoughts are constantly being emitted, returning and creating our future. This may sound like the typical “self-help” baloney or just a simple affirmation "positive thinking" process… but it's a lot deeper than that. The law of attraction really IS “The Secret" to life...

October – January: The truth was a severe longterm injury. Why didn’t I listen?!

October 2008: It was now 3 weeks since I was pain-free and able to run. I realised that I should be feeling OK now since Berlin marathon. All aches had gone but a severe pain persisted in the pelvic-groin area. Even if I wanted to try jogging the pain was too great. The doctor prescribed anti-inflammatories and painkillers for 2-weeks and advised that if pain continues thereafter I should go to physiotherapist. I continued to swim only but walking or exercise was not possible without too much pain. A few weeks later with no improvement I went to physio. After some checks his suspicions were fearful: “Lizanne, it’s really not good news if this is what it looks like – an extensive inferior pubic ramus stress fracture”.

This is a rare injury that “occurs exclusively in elite female longdistance runners”. Recovery of pelvic injuries are prolonged requiring a minimum of 3-months absolute rest where crutches are recommended for the first 2-months. He said I could return to gradual exercise in February (4-months later). I laughed. This was crazy. To properly diagnose this, an X-ray would not be enough. I was sent for an MRI scans which not only confirmed his suspicion but it was more severe than he first thought. The pubic ramus bone was detached from the pelvis and a lot of inflammation. For the next few weeks I was still in pain but by taking diafen everyday, the extent of pain was much reduced (camouflaged) by painkillers. Therefore against much strong advice from physio, I continued to go to the gym for low-impact exercises such as 20-min cross-trainer and 2-3 spinning classes/week. When I came home I would be limping and pain just as severe. Taking another diafen would relieve this and would continue this routine most evenings. I treated this like a usual injury thinking that: because I’m not running or taking any impact, the injury will eventually heal. Little did I know that I was only masking the severity of this injury. Not only creating further damage through light exercise, I was also constantly prolonging recovery.

I rarely remember ever having any bodily complaints before I started running a few years ago - except for the odd common-cold! Since ‘proper’ running, small and short-term ill health and injuries crept in and out. These continued and intensified up to now – resulting in an unimaginable complete halt to any exercise. Separate to the this problematic injury, I also got a deep infection in the foot last November. For absolutely no reason my foot suddenly swelled up like a balloon while in work. The pain was unbearable, my shoe wouldn’t fit and I couldn’t walk yet alone touch foot off anything. It was throbbing red. I was carried into doctors and straight away he could diagnose deep ‘cellulitis’ infection where an a huge abscess formed on foot, it was extremely painful and looked disgusting! I was confined to bed for 3-weeks on lots of meds unable to even drop foot below hip level. The pain and swelling was severe. After 3-weeks I could get around home on crutches but needed to keep foot elevated constantly to be pain free. I worked from laptop in bed to not just keep on top of work but to maintain my sanity!

I could finally return to work a week before Christmas on crutches; I was delighted to be back in the office and out of the house but still not recovered. I continued to stay positive by seeing those weeks of complete immobility as much needed “enforced rest” for the pelvic stress fracture. However, the stress fracture was on the other side of body (stress fracture of left pelvis and infection on right foot). Therefore I was hopping on crutches directly on the fracture side – putting full body impact on directly on the fracture. The pain in pelvis seemed lighter now from the painkillers I was taking for the foot! When I got off crutches after Christmas, I went out cycling almost every day (50-60km/day) to make up for 5 weeks of complete immobility. This continued until January. The pain was back – but now just as intense as when I first felt it in October. I was referred to orthopaedic surgeon...

The last time I have been able to run - The Berlin marathon September 2008.

My life evolved around training and tapering in the months and weeks leading up to the Berlin marathon. I was determined to be as prepared as possible for optimum performance with the correct pacing, speed consistency, mental strategies, fueling and the all-important tapering process. The day itself was an amazing experience from the 5.30am breakfast fuelling to the post marathon adrenaline buzz! The atmosphere, support, weather and everything I could have wished for was on our side!

I was highly anxious in the final days, hours and minutes leading up to the marathon distance. Even the most experienced and accomplished veteran marathoners experience this as your daily life and decisions evolve around training over the prior months. You are always thinking, eating and sleeping this day. But it is important to remember that despite this detailed preparation you must also be prepared to accept inevitabilities and unforeseen barriers such as injury, ill-health (or family) and personal circumstances resulting in no marathon day. Second to this is the post-marathon risks and consequences such as getting injured which can lead to long-term and more serious injury. This is where I still am today since Berlin, except worse, and this is the primary influence for starting this blog!

From speaking with many fellow fitness and running enthusiasts, we can very much understand and relate to the sheer frustration of being seriously injured long-term. Losing fitness and body condition are only the physical consequences of long-term injury, which can be accepted. The main challenge is dealing with the mind. After a long day or stressful experience, releasing the stress through exercise and movement (preferably outdoors) is what makes me happiest. For me exercising is the ultimate adrenaline experience. It releases endorphins and gets the blood pumping that for me gives a feeling of pure relief. For many people winding-down means relaxing with TV, a book, or spending time with close family and friends etc. For others, it is exercise. When this is taken away – completely – and for a long period of time, it becomes very difficult to accept and find alternatives! Most injuries last a few days or weeks. These are easy to deal with. With adequate rest and sometimes physio, we’re back out there doing what we love best again :-) Only in rare incidents do some injuries unfortunately become a more long-term problem and setback.

March – September 2008. Running passionately for a purpose. Running for Mam

March 2008: It was now 16-months later after non-stop stress and pressure. I was feeling more settled and living a more normal life routine. I decided to start fundraising for the Irish Cancer Society through running. The aim was to raise at least over €2,000 through sponsorship. I setout a “5-race series for Mam” challenge comprising 5 races between April and October:
April – Bupa Ireland. 10km
June – Flora mini marathon. 10km
July – Achill Island half-marathon. 21.1km
August – Adidas 10-miles. 16.1km
September – “Real Berlin” full marathon. 42.1 km
(October - Dublin full marathon: optional bonus)

I took the training programmes very seriously focusing on speed for the first 2 races and then mainly working on distance (50+ miles/week) for the half marathon and onwards. Unfortunately from the first race (April) I developed a problematic foot injury that persisted until after the half marathon in July. I approached the Flora race in June very hesitantly as the foot was not recovered and had worsened from continued training. Unexpectedly I completed flora feeling strong and ignored the foot niggles – which progressed to pain halfway through. It was only after the adrenaline had subsided that I realised more damage had been done. I didn’t think too much about it at the time as the next race wasn’t for another month and I would rest for the next week before training again.

The foot was not improving. I had a holiday booked to Majorca for end June to stay with Aunt living there. This was meant to be a “hot weather training” break before the Achill half marathon. It was also planned as a much needed relaxation holiday of course! I setout each morning from Palmanova and followed the paths out to the towns beyond. The sun was strong but the scenery running alongside the coast was beautiful. The foot held up to allow 6-mile morning runs for the first few days. These increased to 8-miles with minor foot niggling then maintaining a few 9-mile mornings. The one long run before going home (15-miles) was needed for getting in the distance beyond half marathon. After the 12th mile the pain was too strong. I stopped and started and ended up walking the final mile. The last 2-days were for resting the foot from running so I cycled along the coast to visit the surrounding towns and picked up some colour too - a nice shade of red!

The half marathon in Achill was a week after returning home from Majorca. I didn’t feel confident the foot would hold up but had tapered correctly during that week in preparation. The scenery throughout the race route on Achill Island was spectacular despite constant hills and frontal facing Atlantic winds! I had a bad fall at the 11th mile sustaining cuts, bloody knees, hands and elbows!



With just over 2 miles to go the adrenaline pushed me on and I finished in 1-hour 35mins coming in as 3rd female. It was the first (and only) race where I finished in a placing! The foot niggled throughout but the pain stayed at bay. The previous week of tapering (increased resting and fuelling) seemed to work well :)

In August I went to visit friends in Norway. This was planned as more of a holiday and fun times! But with the 10-mile race 1 week after I returned, the training continued. I scheduled 2-rest days in-between to allow for the planned nights out! Oslo was a very cold city despite being mid-summer and I didn’t pack accordingly! Shorts and vests were all I brought for running. When I returned home the race day itself was a disaster. The weather was awful with gusts of rain, hail and wind and my running was completely off-form. This was not the encouragement I needed in the last race before the big one - The Berlin full marathon in September….

End 2007 – end summer 2008: When it all started going downhill…. (Continued)

I started job hunting when returned from New York while helping out at my Father’s workplace in the meantime. I got offered a position I was very happy with and started the day after the Dublin marathon on 31st October 2007. First day in the office I was walking like John Wayne. My body was in the peak of it’s post-marathon aching! Thankfully I’m still working there!

Mam’s chemo sessions continued and were due to end before Christmas. Graduation day’s for my brother and I were in November. Mam was greatly weak and sick from all the chemo but determined to make these occasions. She was in no condition to be there or even walk. Granny came to provide an arm for support. We left as soon as finished to bring her home. I understood she was extremely sick yet I was still confused at how quickly she deteriorated when she was meant to be getting better. A few days later she was back in hospital for treatment. She was held in longer and the days turned to weeks. One of us (Dad, brother and I) slept in her hospital room with her every night as she didn’t want to be alone and got use to us being there. It was exhaustive maintaining full-time jobs at the same time. Dad was now telling us that he had been underplaying her condition for our protection all along. I was angry that the truth was withheld but knew that his intentions were good. As Christmas was almost upon us I was determined she would be coming home for a wonderful Christmas and to put the miserable year behind us. The house was prepared for her arrival, Christmas decorations and tree up. With a few days left to Christmas she was completely bed bound and dependent on painkillers and other equipment. We got palliative care nurses organised to help over Christmas and a room downstairs converted to bedroom with the necessary equipment to ensure she would be as comfortable as possible.

I simply needed to run during any spare time possible – only to maintain some sanity and temporary escape. I came home from work and went for long runs on the evenings I wasn’t in the hospital. I spent every spare minute of the weekends running before going back to hospital. I was mentally and physically drained but didn’t have a minute to realise this. On 12th January 2008 it was my night to stay in the hospital. I listened to Mam’s heavy breathing slow down during the night and knew. Mam died with my arms around her. It was just the two of us. It was strangely peaceful.

The following weeks were of course were chaotic in every regard. I somehow completed the Raheny 5-mile race at end of January. In February my running almost ceased due to reaching absolute burnout. My body ached with pain and injuries. As the months rolled on I was emotionally very low from the impact of Mam’s passing. The events of the previous months were just starting to sink in. I hid this as best possible and always kept distracted to avoid getting upset. I was physically much improved however. I was doing shorter and less intense running in preference for gym classes. The spinning and weights classes were strengthening my body and decreasing the over-use of running muscles. The gym was also very sociable and I had made some gym buddies and started meeting similar minded people (fellow crazy fitness enthusiasts!). Running can be a very solitary and lonely sport. Despite sometimes running with friends or colleagues, the bulk of training is done alone.

Click on 'older posts' below to see how this all started! (January posts)